Hysterically choking on her tears.
Since when did crying became a way of relief? It never was to her.
Guess this time the weight was too heavy. She has kept everything inside for way too long. Trying so hard to keep everything together, in the end it doesn't even matter.
She's more dead to herself than she is to everyone else. Walking for so long, searching for home. Lost.
I don't know what have gotten into me. I've been lacking sleep. I can't shut my eyes, empty my mind and just send the world out away as easy as I used to. I don't know since when did the thought of sleep made me became more chaotic than I were placid. Breaking night isn't such a good idea itself either. It makes me overthink more than I thought I could ever think. It kills. Who knew how tormenting it could end up to be. Slowly eating, killing, you inside. Times like this, cutting seems to be a better solution.
This is by far, the worst kind of emotional breakdown I've been through. I'll pull myself back together. Sooner, or later. I can't break. I just can't let myself do so. I've been holding this thing for way too long, I can't give up. No, not yet, not now. I have time, to fix it. Maybe. Doubt it but, who knows, just maybe? I just need to look on the bright side. Exactly.
yours truly,
riri.
Guess this time the weight was too heavy. She has kept everything inside for way too long. Trying so hard to keep everything together, in the end it doesn't even matter.
She's more dead to herself than she is to everyone else. Walking for so long, searching for home. Lost.
I don't know what have gotten into me. I've been lacking sleep. I can't shut my eyes, empty my mind and just send the world out away as easy as I used to. I don't know since when did the thought of sleep made me became more chaotic than I were placid. Breaking night isn't such a good idea itself either. It makes me overthink more than I thought I could ever think. It kills. Who knew how tormenting it could end up to be. Slowly eating, killing, you inside. Times like this, cutting seems to be a better solution.
This is by far, the worst kind of emotional breakdown I've been through. I'll pull myself back together. Sooner, or later. I can't break. I just can't let myself do so. I've been holding this thing for way too long, I can't give up. No, not yet, not now. I have time, to fix it. Maybe. Doubt it but, who knows, just maybe? I just need to look on the bright side. Exactly.
yours truly,
riri.
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