vanished.

Everything we once had, all the promises we once made, gone.
Baby, they're gone.

2010 was shit, beautiful shit. 2011 was as shitty as 2010 only worst but it was okay. I met a few people, lose a few more. Lose some gain some, eh? But 2011 left me with a lot of scars. It proved me wrong to every thing I once believed in. Forever, love, friendship, family, even myself.

However, I still believe in miracles. Still believing that there are people who'd stay even when it's easier to just turn around and walk away. I get complicated, difficult to handle, easy to be left. I no longer put my hopes too high, I expect the worst. I lost my bestfriends, family, loved ones. I can't blame them, things change. People change. I changed. I just wish I still have what I had but with or without them, life goes on.

I lost even more this year. Friends around me, in the middle of the loud crowd, yet I still could hear myself think louder than the noise, as if it's been muted in the background and the loneliness is what I feel, empty in a place so content. One minute I have them held in my bare hands, the next it slips away through my fingers without me even realising.

We have drifted from one another, I can't recall my memory of how we grew apart. I thought it'd last. our love, vanished into thin air. The memories come by once or twice a day, knocking on my window, waking me up from my sleep and tormenting me of how I could've save it but I couldn't as if I chose not to. I tried not to remember but they say it's good to think of happy thoughts when you're a bit off. Unfortunately for me the sadness is what makes me content and the happiness, the good times, are what saddens me.

yours truly,

riri.