introvert.

Never the right person, I am.

The people I trust are limited. People don't really know the real me. The one who does, I could count with my fingers, on just one hand. I choose not to show people the real me, I keep everything to myself, burry it deep down inside. It eats you up but I've gotten used to that. Not that I like hurting myself, I just have this stupid idea of how the things that bother me, are the things that aren't important to others. 

I just don't like the idea of how I'd go for people when I'm in need 'cause I know I might not afford to be there for them when they're in need. I know most people don't care. I'm scared that I'd just be another inconvenience to the people I seek help from. I judge myself from people's point of view at times. Thinking of how annoying I am to them, such a nuisance, 'cause I am. It kills me even more to share thoughts or problems with those who has never bothered to share theirs with me. I despise how by doing so it makes me feel like a total bonehead for some inexplicable reason.

Anyways, the thought of trusting someone so much, getting attached, freaks the shit outta me. It scares me. Scared of regretting it when they finally end everything and leave.

But to be honest, I'm afraid one day the people I care about, the ones I love the most, will leave because of this.

 yours truly, riri.