running away.

Me-the least expected person to ever cut herself. 

Life again has gotten on my nerves. Things are going shitty again. At some point I just can't stand it but I can't tell anyone about  it because I know what they'll think: that this isn't such a big problem and I'm just being immature and making a big fuss out of it. Life has given me obstacles still I bite my tongue saying it's wonderful. And know nothing I do can make things better when it's better when I do nothing. At times it's just how things go, I got problems but keep it to myself. I know I got people who I could trust enough to tell this to but it's just not such a big problem; I could handle it. Maybe. Raya this year would obviously be like last year- which fyi sucks. I'm thinking of leaving home and everyone there for a couple of days maybe? I need to get some rest. I'm seriously tired of all the drama. I just wanna walk around and talk to people without trying to hide all the problems I have.

I just wanna be with my friends like before, open up and let myself be free. All I ask is for a day where I don't need to do any work or be scold at. I don't wanna cut anymore. I just wanna be who I am for once this year, I wanna laugh my ass off without being scold to keep it down, I wanna hang with my friends and cousins without having my mum around, I wanna eat outside so I don't need to wash everyone's dirty dishes for once, I wanna sleep at someone's house so I won't hear anyone shouting out my name to do more never ending chores, I wanna do my exams without caring what grades I get, I want someone to support me and believe in me, that's all. My parents don't even trust me and I can't do anything to change it. I just, can't.

yours truly,

riri