Catching me off guard, he was there. Holy shit wasn't he ecstatic, he couldn't hide the excitement on his face while I struggled to even feel. A flashback rushed into my mind and some sense knocking from the back of it, I started to remember things I no longer wonder about. I'm not into reliving the past, my feelings aren't meant for anyone but me, my story's unknown, I put on a facade and my heart's mine to care for. I've seen that grin, I've believed things were sincere once, I believed in the existence of nice guys too perhaps, however what was, never really is, so what would be, I find it hard to believe in.
I didn't ask for this. This isn't for me.
I'm only here to stay, to watch them go. Often than not they do. None proved otherwise and I've got no heart left to let anyone try. I am not me, I am who they've moulded me into, only colder now. Yet I still love, sometimes, maybe, perhaps- one day. I asked why me? He shrugged his shoulders not knowing but I knew, I swear this isn't love, he's just blinded by what he thinks he feels. As so did everyone before him. Love doesn't exist with me.
So I could never love him.
-riri-
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