last case.

At some point it sounded to me as if I was never real. I'm non existent although I figured he must have believed me enough to see. I suppose I was wrong. Isn't this all that I have ever dreamed of, to be proven right over all that I am wrong at? It was like a show, I'm dramatic hoorah! It doesn't sound any different, I got the message the first time. Funny I waited still, just in case.

I was never obliged to fight for anything or anyone whose space was not meant for them as I am not right to them. Each time I just fail to make anyone comprehend. I tell them they don't understand, I know they try- they tell me I never listen. Does anyone ever really listen? Tell me I never did the same. Tell me it was not just as tiring for me to keep it all together when it was just as excruciating as I might not have made it seem.

It burns as it aches, I feel it in my chest, I am speechless over the things I cannot explain and the mind or decision made up so strong and firmly, a tsunami would not be able to change it. Even if a volcano erupted and the fact that I cannot swim doesn't make it any better. I'm only human but playing god is what you see. It's not up to me to change how anybody wishes to perceive me.

I feel an embrace so cold and lonely, it is warm to me. My head is insane, I see colours, smell goodbyes, feel for what has yet to happen when it most probably will though you do not need to believe me. I am the voice you shut out knowing I am not what you have ever dreamed of hearing. I am a siren, a bunch of lies tied together in a bouquet, every dream turned nightmare. It's amazing, too outstanding, I am art, I'm a masterpiece, I am-

a bit out of my mind if you would rather think so. I am every single thing you say about me and believe I am to be. I am just a figment of ones imagination, remember? I am what you make of me. So where I no longer am, I never was. Always where I should be, there when I'm needed; it's time to let it go.

-riri-