It hasn't even been a day since he left and my mind is already deteriorating. I'm the best at making it all look so effortless. For that it's often than not difficult to believe. Though the ones closest to me knows more than I could ever mention. As much as I resent saying this, sometimes I actually believe everyone's forgotten about it. I do what I do to get through.
It doesn't look like much, in fact I look better than ever although not physically. However everyday's a constant battle and mine isn't over yet. It's been 8 days, soon 9; I'm keeping track of my-could-be-or-soon-to-be-the-start-of-my-lowest-point. Although this time it's different, a bit too blessed now that I have him by my side. Nevertheless, we all know where this could lead to. A bit too much almost each time and everyday, still he stays and copes with me. Always trying to catch up, I tend to forget that my mind works in ways susceptible to me yet complicated for others. Off track, I choose to overlook this.
To be honest, I don't have the exact words for my current state or condition right this instance. A couple hours has passed since I wrote this and he's already on his way to me. I know this is a lot for him too. God knows how much I can't repay all the hours I've taken and his time I've wasted. It's just that this time, I can no longer afford to do this all alone. Even if nobody understands, I hope the ones who stick by me have faith in me. This was never on purpose, I never asked for this.
-riri-
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