sup doc.

Um so uh um hello.

Yea it's me. Alright I guess.

So yeah.

*laughs*
I know what she'd ask,

what she'd expect.

Um so uh how do you put this.

Like yknow when um, you want to go back?

Back where she'd ask.

Back, like yknow back to the illness.

Home- back to the sadness.

I can't take the one looking right back at me in the mirror.

I noticed everything, everywhere and it's driving me insane.

So um like yeah, I gotta go like I'm not dead enough to go.

I hate it, I hate this, I, I, I wanna shed all this fa-

I gotta be tiny again, I've to feel cold and every inch of my bones.

I can't swallow these things no more.

I need to feel every slash against my arms.

I need to see things bleed and all the scars that reminds me of it.

My head hurts, I want to quit my job.

God I love my job but I can't do this.

I can't take what's in my head, I can't take the repulsion towards myself.

Um so, uh, dr. how is it going to be now?

I think this is my last 150 for now, see you in a few months.

See you when I've got cash. See you when I see you.

Or maybe not at all.

-riri-