25 january 2014.
Said to be my birthday by the looks of my birth certificate.
This happened the night before.
10 mins of heaven. 5 pass 10.
Said to be my birthday by the looks of my birth certificate.
This happened the night before.
10 mins of heaven. 5 pass 10.
I like Fridays, I do but I've never like the thought of school on that day. I didn't have a choice this time wishing I had skipped. Left me the feeling of despair and for me to be going through this again every week I just- no. I've been living dead and empty. Is this the phase of this week or my heart and mind subconsciously hinting me of how things are going to be the way I wished it wouldn't and to get through it is to not bother- could be. All I wanted to do was cry it away hoping what goes out won't come crawling back in but it hurt to shed even a tear though I might have when I didn't need to, I thought.
Somehow it became a bit bearable talking to him and seeing him sleep. Ends with me sleeping as well. It felt good enough for a second I drowned into the thought of being with him, staying this way, always. I couldn't be more grateful for that. It's been awhile. This is one of those moments where I wish time would be put on hold and so this will last for eternity. Still time passes by so fast but at that moment it felt like every second counted, that it mattered to the point I forgot that the clock was even ticking. Calming, I supposed. He calms me down and that reminds me that it's not so bad at all.
Later that night he asked me to come out, all I had in my mind was "Out of where and to where?" "Outside". Heart racing but nothing to expect I opened the front door to see him standing there by the gate. I took a few steps back in disbelief and after a few breathes, took the courage to walk out and surprisingly my eyes weren't deceiving me. The guy in white standing in front of me with this blue paper bag on his right and that smile on his face, was no one else but him. I pretty sure was still in denial, I mean how could it be? But it was.
Speechless and blank. My brain almost stopped functioning that the only thing I felt was this rush of everything under my skin if that even make sense but nothing really did at the moment except for the fact that he was there, and having him there felt like more than anything I could ever want at the time. It still seems so surreal until today. How could he even like why would he even like how could I ever?? I was overwhelmed, it was intoxicating. Real, that was the main thing- it was real. This wasn't something I daydreamed, imagined or fictionalised. All the way from Ampang just for that few minutes. Pocking him in disbelief, I didn't deserve all this. I never did or would be worthy of such but how could you let this slip. I just- exactly. Nothing could take this feeling away.
-riri-
Somehow it became a bit bearable talking to him and seeing him sleep. Ends with me sleeping as well. It felt good enough for a second I drowned into the thought of being with him, staying this way, always. I couldn't be more grateful for that. It's been awhile. This is one of those moments where I wish time would be put on hold and so this will last for eternity. Still time passes by so fast but at that moment it felt like every second counted, that it mattered to the point I forgot that the clock was even ticking. Calming, I supposed. He calms me down and that reminds me that it's not so bad at all.
Later that night he asked me to come out, all I had in my mind was "Out of where and to where?" "Outside". Heart racing but nothing to expect I opened the front door to see him standing there by the gate. I took a few steps back in disbelief and after a few breathes, took the courage to walk out and surprisingly my eyes weren't deceiving me. The guy in white standing in front of me with this blue paper bag on his right and that smile on his face, was no one else but him. I pretty sure was still in denial, I mean how could it be? But it was.
Speechless and blank. My brain almost stopped functioning that the only thing I felt was this rush of everything under my skin if that even make sense but nothing really did at the moment except for the fact that he was there, and having him there felt like more than anything I could ever want at the time. It still seems so surreal until today. How could he even like why would he even like how could I ever?? I was overwhelmed, it was intoxicating. Real, that was the main thing- it was real. This wasn't something I daydreamed, imagined or fictionalised. All the way from Ampang just for that few minutes. Pocking him in disbelief, I didn't deserve all this. I never did or would be worthy of such but how could you let this slip. I just- exactly. Nothing could take this feeling away.
-riri-
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